Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
Randomize
