Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
Randomize
