South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
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