Dude, this chick just tossed my salad hard. All that I could picture was a dog trying to get the last of the peanut butter out of the jar of Jiff and trying not to think of how grotesque my last dump was.
Then she tried to kiss me and I wouldn't and she got pissed off and went to sleep. Then about an hour later, her kid called her. She went home and on the way out I told her to wash her mouth before she kissed her kid good night. Weird night..
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
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