margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
