we made out on top of his cat.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
