I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
A+ Viking dick
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
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