weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
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