I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
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