Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
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