just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
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