Say something about gay babies.
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
Randomize
