I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
Randomize
