do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
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