i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
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