He asked me if I "almost moaned"
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
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