I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Randomize
