Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
Use "feeling words"
Yay
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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