Well apparently he's into motor boating.
do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
Randomize
