im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
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