i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
should my penis look like a turkey
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
Randomize
