i was rollin on her like bob the builder
Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
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