cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
My butt remains clenched, sir.
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