Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
Found your dick twin last night
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
Randomize
