My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
Randomize
