I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
I think i peed on brittanys purse
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
Randomize
