he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
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