Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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