got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Randomize
