Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
Randomize
