Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
Randomize
