I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
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