Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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