If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
so much tequila, so little girl.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
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