So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
birth control should be required to get into college
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Randomize
