Jerry, you need to find god
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
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