the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
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