Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Randomize
