I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
Randomize
