Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Randomize
