the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
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