it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
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