there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
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