dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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