was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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