My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
Randomize
