Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
where does the pee come out of this thing
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
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