i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
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