I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
