Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
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